What a question!!!
If you are like me, questions like this do cross your mind from time to time.
It is a question that none of us like to answer, maybe it is because only unpleasant scenarios demand answers to these sort of question in reality.
I won’t go into the nitty-gritty of what if situations that could cause this question to be asked, but I think it is worth contemplating and writing about, I will use biblical principles as I attempt to discuss this topic.
I must stress that these are my views, thus, they are subject to your scrutiny, so feel free to disagree
In most cases, the answer to this question will depend on who you ask. As there are three parties involved in the question (Husband, Wife and Children it is fair to assume that you may get three different responses. That being said the Bible offers us one perfect response that may or may not sit well with the different response groups.
Children are a special type of gift from God; they are not like the average gifts we receive from one another. They are really a way of God letting us in on the creation process that is what is so special about the gift of child, not what the child can do for you, but the limitless potential of what you can offer the child as you mould him into becoming an individual. It’s kind of like a parent being an earthly God assistant to their child.
God gives parents the mandate to create and train their children, that mandate is what the heavenly gift is, there are other embedded gift within children of course but it doesn’t get any better than the creating and training mandate given to us by God.. What a great gift!
What about parents (Husband and Wife)? Bible says
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” Gen 2:24
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” Mat 19:5
These scriptures emphasize the point that man was made for woman and vice versa…
A closer examination of this scripture will also reveal that at some point, a ‘child’ will leave their ‘parents’ and become ONE with another.
The bible doesn’t say of such relationship between parents and their children. This biblical teaching is the basis of my view that ……wait for it….. YOUR SPOUSE IS OF MORE SIGNIFICANCE THAN YOU’R OFFSPRING.
This concept has been embraced in countries like the USA or England and other European countries, but it could do with more spread in Africa, particular in Nigeria, where the average parent clings on to their children and most times forgoes the support that their partner can provide them with, children are seen first as investments rather than a gift at a shot in creation.
I mean the bible implies that parents are stewards of their children, but ultimately God is the real parent, that’s why parents are to train their children in accordance with God’s teachings and principles (not the parent’s principles but God’s)
So by marriage you become one flesh with another. That means everything they own is yours, both physically and spiritually speaking. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, this concept can come across as scary but we need to deal with it.
If you don’t look after yourself (which is a combination of you and your spouse) how do you intend to look after your child? I mean even airplane safety tips stress that you put on your oxygen mask first before proceeding to assist your kid.
I am not in any way trying to down play sacrifices that parents make for their children. It is actually necessary to do that… The bible is loaded with scriptures teaching us to about making sacrifices for one another. That being said, in the context of marriage these parental sacrifices should be made as a unit, as one.
Marriage can only function when both parties realise that they have become ONE in every sense of the word, there should be one consciousness. That is not to say that there won’t be disagreements, I am sure every single individual that is not in a relationship goes through daily disagreement with one’s self but you still end up getting along with yourself .. Take that approach and apply it in your marriage life because you and your partner are one.
Kids also owe it to their parents to understand this concept and apply it within the dynamics of family life… Perhaps we need to teach children this concept from a young age??
What do you think???